Rapid Ride

This is an actual bootlegged photo of our group




Here are two clips from a quick run up to the Snake River for a few river runs with some friends at work. One of my buddies sat out one ride to take these videos with his droid.

I am the one with the big white hat in the back of the boat in the first clip (the only one that didn't get tossed around like a rag doll and could keep paddling through the rapid).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ujeI_fXrVtI

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zlJiQHKqhTw

Top Trip Stories

So we had the greatest time on our 6500 mile cross country trip. Jenny is posting all the good stories on her blog so make sure you stop in to read them. We had many great memories from the trip. The kids experienced a lot of things for the first time, as well as the parents. Below is listed the snippets of 50 topics each with their own story. When I got writing them, many more than 50 popped out, but I will start with just these. Feel free to ask us about the stories that go with them when you have some free time to be bored out of your gourd.



1. Cloud-to-cloud lightning: Do you think we'll get struck?
2. I can't believe my eyes, 10,000,000 fire flies.
3. Smokey Mountain Memories with screaming waterfalls.
4. Mini-me Mississippi at Mud Island.
5. Salamanders, crawfish, and tadpoles, oh my!
6. Humidity Humility.
7. Turnpike = $20+ toll
8. Living in an Amish Paradise.
9. Changing of the Yelling Guard.
10. Misfiring 19 gun salute.
11. How many Tom Sawyers can one town hold anyway?
12. Hail of a storm; Ouch! I think that's going to leave a mark.
13. Why does no one pay attention when police helicopters buzz you in Chicago?
14. Sir, this is a private party, you'll have to pee elsewhere.
15. Niagra's lesser known falls.
16. Please sir, can I have my free stuff now.
17. 2 information people: The non busy one directs you to talk to the busy one.
18. Clearance Requirements for outdoor parking.
19. Did you know that you can use microwaves for free at gas stations?
20. Leaving the country without a passport.
21. Running on empty in Kansas.
22. Being bold in Boulder with a politically incorrect gas guzzler.
23. Find that huge snail a home.
24. Family camping for 365 days plus your own lawn ornaments: smoking required.
25. Arkansas and Michigan for 2 minutes.
26. Zip Line camping.
27. Erie rock skipping.
28. Lady Liberty has a stunt double in Pennsylvania.
29. Body surfing on the Susquehanna.
30. Hersey's two candy bars for the price of none.
31. No room at the inn in Country Music's Capitol.
32. A date with Thomas Jefferson after hours.
33. We're sorry, we just reached capacity. Thanks for waiting in the hot sun for nothing.
34. Watch where you are going you bratty clueless teenagers.
35. You got a problem; Just protest at the White House.
36. The Grand 'Ole Opry is under good new water.
37. Teddy's almost unknown monument.
38. Peabody's Duckies
39. Using other states for your fireworks needs.
40. State Bagging.
41. Not all state capitols are on hills.
42. If you have a Little Ceasar's we'll stop in your town.
43. Don't make eye contact or make any sudden movements.
44. Please, can we have your worst smelling smoking room with the windows shot out?
45. 4 for 4 for Church on Sundays.
46. What? you have closing hours at your laundromat. That is so non white trash.
47. Would you fill out this comment card for the hundreth time.
48. Doughnut pillows rule.
49. Can I have seconds on rice milk cereal?
50. Lebanese Fries.

Does Lightning Strike Twice?

Usually when I sneeze once I know that a second one is coming. It seems like most things come in twos. Like when we watched a Disney Show made for teens, yesterday, our daughter immediately started watching it again. The same was true when I was working out in the yard. When I accidentally cut the electrical line for my sprinklers, I did it again the second time shortly after repairing the first mishap. I also hit the back of my hand in the same spot twice, within minutes, with a hammer; each misguided stroke just as powerful as the one before.



I had another unfortunate experience recently on our 'whirl-wind across the country tour' vacation. It had been at least 10 years since I had been pulled over by a police officer, so I guess that I was overdue for one of those choice occurrences. We happened to be in Indiana at the time. It seemed that the odds were stacked against us for leniency, when the trooper was greeted by a car whose contents were in the final chaotic state of being in decay for three long weeks. We couldn't find the registration, he lectured our oldest daughter in the back, who didn't have her seat belt securely fastened. I also was reprimanded for not staying in my lane as I almost went into evasive maneuvers as I saw a car coming up onto my tail at an extreme rate of speed about to ram me. It turned out to be the Trooper without his lights on, driving near the speed of sound. (Darn it all, if your going to drive like the rest of us maniacs, at least turn your lights on so we can tell who you are.)


Luckily, we were spared a ticket. We walked away from the incident with only a warning. Jenny attributes it to the fact that when she was searching for the registration in the glove box she pulled out a bible in clear view of the Officer. It may have been all of the scared and sad looking faces in the car (well, at least my face); or may have simply been that, with all of our infractions, they would have to impound our Sturgeon (Ford Excursion)which is the size of half the state of Rhode Island, and they just didn't have that size of acreage available.

So, when we I was pulled over again within a few days of getting home from our trip, I wasn't too worried about getting a ticket, because this double mint deja vu thing that I got going on meant that another warning was on it's way. So when I was handed the ticket I was a little bit surprised.

Maybe I shouldn't have handed him the bible with my driver's license tucked into the pages like a book mark.