White Trash on Tour

Well, a trip to DISNEY WORLD with 9 adults (including 3 sets of grandparents) and 4 kids must have some 'white trash' stories worth saving or at least writing about, RIGHT?

Did You Send Out the Snow Plows?

On our first day at Magic Kingdom, I got a call on my cell phone. It was my boss. He was talking about how the temperatures were quite cold and was wondering what type of salt mixture that I was going to have the snow crews put on the roads in anticipation of the big snow storm that was coming (If you don't know, I'm an engineer for the Utah Department of Transportation). I immediately realized that he forgot that I wasn't in Utah. I said, "Well, I don't quite know what would be best to use in this situation but it is 80 degrees where I am". There was a long awkward pause...

Finally he said, "say hi to Mickey for me, you *&%$*#!!!"

Who Needs a Garden Gnome?

My Brother had a plastic girl elf (I think he thinks that it is his girlfriend) that we took pictures of everywhere with the cell phone and then emailed them back to the group of teachers that he works with.

BIRD POOP

What can I say? Sometimes **it just happens. Even at the Happiest Place on Earth.

Happiest Place on Earth

My father-in-law, Steve, and I would gleefully amuse ourselves by repeating the phrase, "happiest place on earth!" and smirk at each other every time we saw any child that was behaving in a way that would get themselves a regular bum whooping if they were not in public.

OH, The Lines

The longest line on our trip about drove me crazy. I about lost all the patience that I could muster. I could see the front of the line when I entered the queue, but it never seemed like the line would move. Oh, they tried to make the wait in line more exciting by having a lot of tantalizing pictures on the sides of the lines to try to get you in the mood of the attraction. This did nothing for me. Everyone around me seemed not to mind the wait, in fact, they seemed to have enthusiasm that couldn't be diminished. This angered me even more. They finally opened up another line, but still it was all that I could take standing there. Finally, when I got to the front of the line, I finally realized why it had taken so long. The employee directing the operations was very methodicaly skilled in her organizational abilities, but was slower than molasses. In fact all the employees were slower than sin. When I finally made it through the exit, I felt totally drained and depressed. If you can't tell by now what the attraction was, let me tell you. I wasn't at Disney World, it was Wally World. Yep, It took me 30 minutes to get through the check out line at the local Walmart.

As for Disney World, we walked pretty much onto everything we wanted without any lines.

Kobe, Al, & Me

While waiting to get on the ride called Soarin' at EPCOT we started a conversation with one of the Disney Cast Members. We had just been placed in line marking out where we would sit when we moved onto the ride. She told us how they recently had two famous people ride the ride: Kobe Bryant and Al Gore. They always brought people in like this through side doors and then placed them on the very best seat on the ride. We realized that I was actually slotted to be in that very seat. When I thought about sitting in the exact same place that Kobe and Al had just recently sat, I was quite overwhelmed and blurted out, "I guess I'll never wash my bum again"

DEAD SILENCE...

FRENCH PUFFS

Everyone has their favorite spots at the Parks, but mysteriously all thirteen of us seemed to lock in to our 'Happy Spot' all at once. It was at the French Pastry shop at EPCOT. We ordered about every available pastry that they had. Who cared that it cost approximately $4,562.98 per piece, we were happy. On the count of three we all dug in and devoured every morsel in less than 1.3 seconds. It was the best sugar high that I've ever had. To add to the excitement, we returned another day, just to go back to this pastry shop. This time buying everything again, with multiple pieces of our favorites. This time I think we did it in 1.1 seconds. I was surpisred that no small children were devoured by mistake. No sooner then when we had finished everything off and as we sat there looking collectively like Oliver Twist as he begged for one more tiny morsel ("please sir, can I have some more") Some lady took pity on us. She must of thought that our white trash group had saved up our last pennies to buy one last meal that was not nearly enough to feed us all and that we then would shrivel up and die, came to us and said as she left a package of cookies,"I think that you need these more than I, you poor things."


















I'll SAVE SOME MORE FOR THE NEXT INSTALLMENT