There are a lot of surprises and a little anxiety that normally accompanies the arrival of Christmas morning. This year was to be no different. After a late night of preparing for the morning unwrapping fest, I laid in bed early, wondering at what time the little chitlins would arise wanting to rush down and tear into their holiday booty.
That's when it happened. The phone rang. I did not have long to ponder who would be calling at this pre-dawn hour. Was it the kids who were circumventing our security system to get to us? We, of course, had locked our door and nailed a sheet to the walls in the hallway blocking the view of the Christmas Tree downstairs. There was to be no unauthorized access to us or those awaiting presents. The realization came as my wife rolled out of a deep slumber to murmur, "It must be your parents." This was confirmed as I looked at at the caller ID and it said 'the grandparents'.
You see, my parents have always been early risers, and of course, the disease only gets worse with age. At times the genetic defect has manifested itself in me, but I've been able to control it for the most part without medication. Going to bed really really late often cures it on the spot. As of yet, it appears that the early riser gene is dormant in my kids.
I answered the phone to hear my mother asking if the kids had opened all of the presents yet. I said, "Mom, the kids have not even stirred yet, and I don't expect it to happen for quite some time." My mom was aghast and said, "It's already 6:00 a.m., are they not feeling well?" Now when I was a kid and we raced into my parents room at 4:00 on Christmas Morning, it was no skin off their backs. It was like sleeping in to them. They thought that it was totally normal. My mom let me know that she and my dad didn't want to waste the day away. They were ready to see what the kids got and if we didn't get going really fast that we would lose the spirit of Christmas.
I told my mom that I would call as soon as I heard the first peep out of any one of my kids. So she hung up. I felt the the disappointment in her voice. I could envision what she was thinking, "Where did we go wrong with our kids? We thought that at least this one had some potential." The guilt lasted for a good 6 seconds before I drifted back off to sleep.
The next thing that I realized was that the front door bell was ringing. I turned over to see that it was 6:30 a.m. My wife once again rolled out of a deep slumber to say, "It's your parents". I knew that she must be right. I hurried down to the door to let in my parents and my older brother. They were flabbergasted to find out that the kids still weren't up. My dad said that he was just going to find out what the kids got anyway and proceeded into the front room where the presents were. Some of the gifts were wrapped and some, because of their shape and size were not wrapped. My dad started announcing gaily all of the presents that he could identify.
Fortunately for him the kids were still so dead asleep that they couldn't hear him and that my wife does not believe in capital punishment, so his life was spared. Though, I'm sure if she were fully awake she wouldn't have been opposed to a little caning.
They waited patiently for about 10 minutes and finally decided that it was a hopeless cause. They decided to head off to my other brother's house a hour away. Of course my brother's kids would have been up for at least 6 hours and their gifts would be worn out by the time my parents got there. But for them they were salvaging what was left of Christmas Day.
It was still another good 1 1/2 hours before the kids rolled out of bed.
I've learned that in life their are two kinds of people: Those who wake early on Christmas Morning and those who never have seen a Christmas Morning.
What type are you?
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