The Sweet Sounds of Successful Cook-Offs

My youngest daughter was performing a musical number together with one of her friends at a church activity. When I ran up to catch the performance I discovered that the church activity also included a chili cook-off.

I was nabbed as a non-biased judge and was told to sample twenty different pots of chili. I started out eating bowls full, then slowed to spoonfuls, and finally just sampled one bean at a time.

I thought that I was going to burst from the built up pressure.

After they announced the winners, they offered a special thanks to the judges who quietly went about all their efforts. I slowly leaned over to the guy next to me and said, "I have a stinkin' feeling that's all going to change tonight."

It would take all my efforts to go about quietly.

An Inconvienient Non-Truth, part deux

I know that I should let this one go, but I have to put in one more jab.

I noticed since we gained that extra hour of light from Day Light Saving Time that the snow in my yard has been melting much faster.

In Newfoundland they actually move two hours when they go onto Day Light Saving Time. No wonder the polar ice caps are melting.

You can make a difference in the world, though. You can purchase what I am calling Time Piece Footprint Credits. Just send me $100 every spring to purchase your yearly credit. When you have purchased your credit, you can move your clock ahead guilt free. With every purchased credit I will rotate my own special clock back one hour to compensate for your careless disregard for the environment.

NOTE: One credit must be purchased for each clock that you own.

An Inconvienient Non-Truth

My Mother-in-Law's least favorite day of the year is coming up this weekend on March 14th. It is the introduction of Daylight Saving Time which is coming earlier than ever before. My Mother-in-Law dreads the day because she loses an hour that she feels like she never catches back up on until we go back to standard time.

I guess she is not the only one who despises the time change. A recent article in the paper was written by a lady who was complaining about the short comings of Daylight Saving Time. Her strongest argument against the change was that the extra hour of light always causes her lawn to burn up.

Well, there you have it. The first reasonable argument for the man-made (Congressional) cause of global warming.

I personally love Daylight Saving Time.

Spanky's Revenge

There is a special sound that is made when a wrapper is removed from a piece of chocolate that only someone less than the age of ten can hear. How they acquire this skill I'll never know. Such was the circumstances that I found myself in a couple of days ago.

I looked around and made sure that the coast was clear when I snuck a bite-sized Snickers bar from my wife's secret stash. Just as I was unwrapping this little treat, I looked up to see my five year old staring at me from across the room.

"I'm going to tell mom," he said with a little air of authority. I said, "Now you wouldn't want to tattle on dad, would you?" I could see that there was no backing down, so I went to plan B: "Hey, how about having one with me?" I blurted out in desperation. After a short pause he conceded and said, "Okay." So then I got another and tossed it to him.

That is where I got cocky. Trying to make sure that I had all of my bases covered I added the comment, "So now you can't tell mommy on me because you're having one too." Well, he wouldn't have anything to do with that type of extortion so he hucked the candy bar back at me.

At this point, I knew my goose was cooked, so I suppressed all my guilt and ate my candy bar anyway bracing myself for the inevitable outcome. Sure enough, the little spanker ratted me out. I could see the pleasure in his eyes as he gave the full account to mommy. It's that same look mommy got when she knew that she could get after daddy for taking the candy. They must be related.

My kids are much better at being an adult than I am.