The Faux Pas

Have you ever experienced any socially awkward situations? My wife says that I can't experience anything but. Here are my top three categories of embarrassing situations:

1. The Misintended attention grabber. This one tops my list, I think by far. It can come in several forms. The first is when someone waves and you wave back only to realize too late that they were waving to someone else. Ouch, that one stings. Even worse for me is when you are in a meeting and someone from outside the room tries to get your attention. Upon engaging some form of contact back with this person you suddenly realize that they were trying to communicate with someone behind you. To make matters worse is when you leave the room to join them only to find out you weren't the person that they were trying to get the attention of. To solve this problem, I simply have the policy to just ignore the person regardless of how frantic they get with the arm waving.

2. The Misunderstood word. This one is so commonplace for me because I am deaf, that it doesn't warrant much attention. Everyone experiences this one from time to time. Like when someone asks if you want a raspberry tart and you say something like, "fart? No I haven't fluffed for at least five minutes." The kicker for me on this one is that it extremely bothers my spouse, who is so embarrassed when this happens to me that she usually falls on the floor writhing in embarrassing agony, which generally causes me a little embarrassment.

3. The Trip and Fall. This one can have so many variations that it warrants mention. It usually entails catching your toe on some edge or bonking your head on something. The situation usually is worsened by the fact that you doing something totally stupid right after you do it to cover up the misstep, which generally draws more attention to yourself. For instance, this last Sunday I had to conduct some pretty important business in front of a religious congregation. As I finished and turned around to head back to my seat I tripped over a small chair that was placed strategically in the wrong place for an upcoming children's program. Well, immediately upon tripping I start doing a little soft shoe dance routine as if the whole thing had been choreographed. Not a very smooth thing to do when in front a large body of people who are trying to feel the spirit. I can visualize Jenny now writhing on the floor after reading this.

Has anyone else ever experienced any embarrassing moments?